The Buffalo Niagara International Airport (BUF) is apparently part of the United States “border” and is staffed with border agents… even for domestic flights!

After getting my boarding pass, I headed over to security only to find two border patrol agents standing in front of the standard security screening.

They ask to see my ticket and ID and after a few random questions they ask my citizenship. In my head I thought, “What? I just handed you a US issued passport, what do you think my citizenship is?” but not wanting to hold up the line of holiday travelers, I only responded with “American”, grabbed my ticket, and walked through.

The airport is at least ten miles from the US-Canada border… what the hell are there border patrol agents doing here? (FYI: “International” was added to the airport’s title a few years ago because they now fly to Toronto… a two hour drive away.)

Constitution Free Zone

The ACLU has dubbed this the Constitution Free Zone and has pending lawsuits against the issue, but this was my first time experiencing it, and I have to say, it’s infuriating. Since when do I have to provide paperwork to travel within my own country?

The security at our airports is nothing but a bloated theatrical productions and if it wasn’t such a hassle, I’d probably never show my ID. Why not take that money wasted on these productions and spend it on something useful like education, infrastructure, research, et al.

This is getting ridiculous… I truly hope the new administration and congress work on these Bush inspired constitutional issues.

Related: Your papers please: TSA bans ID-less flight

Traveling during the holidays fucking sucks. 

With all the delayed and canceled flights the SFO domestic terminal was in chaos. At the United counters where I was, people were dismayed, swearing, and a few were actually weeping. For some unknown reason, United had only six agents running all counters with a few bag handlers and no one directing the flow of people.

After queuing for an hour and a half at the online checkout area, most of us were told that it was now too late to catch our flights and that we needed to requeue in another line and wait for an agent (they had one agent at the online check counter trying to serve well over a hundred people).

Trying to expedite the situation, I called their customer relations number three times only to get frustrated by their voice-only menu system. Apparently United never tested their system in real-life situations because speaking to a computer was utter useless in an airport with ambient noise, but that’s a UI discuss for another post.

Three lines and nearly three hours later I was put on standby for another flight and the situation around me only compounded as tensions rose and more people missed their flights.

Jump-forward four hours and I had been on standby for two different flights and was now being told I wouldn’t make it on the third. Staying with the days theme, I was asked to stand in yet another line for over an hour and half.

Reaching the counter I was polite as possible but as luck would have it my agent was cousins with the Wicked Witch of the West. So instead of trying to help me, she repeatedly lied to my face about the availability of other flights until I pulled out my phone and read her the available airlines and flight numbers.

Agreeing that they were available and that a change was possible, she started citing that there were a lot of people in line and that it would take some time to change the ticket and that I need to go to the other airlines myself (to stand in yet another line).

After asking her politely to change my flight she suddenly changed gears and started telling me that she had no sympathy for me because I showed up for my flight only 2 1/2 hours before it was going to leave (the flight was delayed over an hour so technically I was 3 1/2 hours early).

I’m usually a nice guy but everyone has a breaking point and this was mine.

After spuing a small rant that was about 50% expletives I turned around and to a line of smiling faces that were nodding with approval. 

Officially out of options in the airport I found a quiet corner and tried my luck with the United’s phone number. Five minutes after connecting to an agent I had a new flights booked was good to go… he did more in a few minutes than all the other agents combined.

After thanking him multiple times, I went home… now I get to try it all over again bright and early tomorrow morning! 

While I’m not going to start listening to Toby Keith or visiting Dollywood anytime soon, I definitely have a new found respect and understand of the South.

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Now… who wants to go to Anchorage, Honolulu, or Fargo with me?

After touring the city I spent the next couple days in the French Quarter of New Orleans exploring. Most of the time I only carried my pocket camera but on my last night I broke out the big-boy complete with tripod and started wandering.

Walking around with my camera equipment drew a lot of attention, especially on Bourbon St. I was asked everything from…

• “What TV station are you with?”
• “Who’s in town that you’re shooting?”
• “Can you take our picture?”
• “What are you taking a picture of?” And once I pointed out the building I was shooting, three-quarters of the time they would pull out their camera phone and take the same picture. 
• I even had one person walk by, give me a dirty look, and say “fuckin’ paparazzi!”. The funny part was that I was only walking down the street and hadn’t taking any pictures of the area yet!

The People

I had variety of people asking for the picture to be taken and they all had their own stories:

• “Hey, hey, awesome camera… how come you’re not drunk?”
• “Take another one with my… this beautiful lady… come on, take another one…”, after taking another shot, “come here… I’m wanted by the FBI so don’t put this on TV, okay?”
• “Did you get me licking her ass?”, showing him the picture, “Dude, you got the group but… here take another one.”
• “You want the best fuckin’ picture you’re going to get all night?”, playing stupid I asked of what, “Me! Who else did you think I was talkin’ about?”

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The Architecture

I love the old-country look and feel of the French Quarter. Its mix of decaying historic buildings refitted and repainted definitely add character.

With all of those layers, you can basically point the camera in any direction find something of interest; one block may be next to a cathedral another by a red-light district and all of these are surrounded by local shops and restaurants.

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The Signs

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After leaving the Smoky Mountains I spent ten hours crossing Arkansas and Mississippi to get to New Orleans at a decent time.

I didn’t get a chance to check out much on the way, but I did run across an odd sight, a towing caravan.

While filling up I saw a van and two closely parked cars and what I didn’t notice at first was that they were all connected!

Towing two cars at the same time doesn’t seem like the most stable thing to do, but this guy was brave enough to take all three cars on to the thruway!  :)

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Touring New Orleans

Before hanging out in the French quarter, I really wanted to explore New Orleans to see how it has recovered since the hurricanes.

What we saw was very dishearting.

Years after the fact there are huge parts of the city that are still in ruins. Some areas are struggling to recover but there were multiple wards that are nothing but smashed houses and flattened city streets. More houses than I could count still had waterlines stains above the windows and doors and hand-painted search-and-rescue X’s on the walls denoting what agency searched the house and if any bodies were found.

The entire area is a macro Chicken or Egg dilemma… people won’t move back because there aren’t any stores for miles and stores won’t rebuild because there aren’t any people.

Back when Katrina hit New Orleans my friends and I had flights and hotels for the following Mardi Gras. We looked into volunteering but all of the agencies were only accepting people who could stay for multiple weeks. We had only a week in New Orleans booked so we end up canceling the trip.

Seeing it three years later, looking back on it, I really wish we had made a stronger effort to take more time off and help.

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The Smoky Mountains is an interesting mix; it’s part Yosemite, part family amusement park, and part romantic destination.

The rolling layers of mountain tops is amazing in-person and pictures really don’t do it justice but every possible entrance is surround by hotels, restaurants, and shops; all with there own Southern flare and pride.

One second it’s a Disney-esque street with bright colored stores and hotels the next it’s a one lane road completely surrounded by trees.

That division between the natural and synthetic worlds was only widened by the cult of Dolly that existed through out the area. I’m not kidding, Dolly Parton is everywhere!

She was on billboards, menu items, and of course there’s Dollywood… there was even a picture of her in my hotel room!

I can understand the owner’s pride in meeting Dolly Parton but do you really need to hang a picture of yourself and her in every hotel room?  :)

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Louisville

After spending the day in Mammoth Cave I just wanted to find a place to grab dinner but it took a while before I found a place that was open. I end up on Bardstown Rd which had a bunch of college-esque type stores and restaurants, actually it felt a lot like Park Ave in Rochester.

Sleeping until noon the next day, I headed back down to Bardstown Rd again to try Mark’s Feed Store and wander around the area a little before I head off to the Smoky Mountains.

It was a cute area and the small blue Scientology house with a crappy sign was a complete departure from what I’m use to seeing in the Bay Area. Maybe I’d like it here more than I originally thought. 

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Kentucky / Tennessee Border

Time to visit new places, to quote Dorothy, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”

Fireworks Super Store and Playground

Fireworks Super Store had a ferris wheel, clowns, animal rides, and oh yeah, M80s, roman candles, and multiple other ways to blow up your kids.

I have no issues with adults having fireworks but the combo of kids, fireworks, and gasoline doesn’t seem completely thought out.

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Smoky Mountain Knife Works

Massive, this place had multiple levels with galleries, stuffed animals, and nearly ever kind of bladed item you could think of: bayonets, hunting knives, counterfeit Nazi knives, Star Trek Bat’leths, medieval swords, et al. It even had Confederate bikinis.

While I can understand that the hunters are “proud” of their kills, I never understood the reasoning behind stuffing animals. Why not just take a picture as proof?

It just disturbing to see dead animals mounted in fake positions covered in dust and fur/feathers faded in the sun. Even more unsettling are the combo animals… like the mouse / longhorn mix they had hanging on the wall.

In any case, I did end up buying a slingshot and we had a blast trying to hit trees and bushes in Shoreline park when I got back to California.

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Definitely not a country music fan, but like Graceland in Memphis, the Grand Ole Opry was only a few minutes from my hotel so I felt somewhat compelled to at least check it out. So my last night in Nashville I decided to make the drive. And I have to say, I was pretty disappointed.

Like Graceland before it, the rain-gods paid me a visit again and by the time I got there it was pouring. So trying to wait it out, I grabbed dinner near-by.

It’s definitely not the country barn theatre they try to portray… rather it’s a huge complex called Opryland USA and it’s attached to a full-blown mall. While I may not be a fan of the music, if I was, I’d be pissed off at the misrepresentation.

Unable to get any pictures the night before, I swung by a great place called the Pfunky Griddle for breakfast in the morning. After cooking my own breakfast on their in-table griddles and eating my fill of pancakes, I headed downtown to take a few shoots before driving to the bluegrass state:

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Mammoth Cave, Kentucky

Heading towards Louisville, Kentucky, I took a detour off of I-65 to check out Mammoth Cave National Park.

I’ve been spelunking multiple times in the old gypsum mines in my hometown and more recently in Hezekiah’s Tunnel under Jerusalem, however this was my first natural cave system.

From the outside, it’s nothing more than a large forest with small winding roads but the caves underneath are, for lack of a larger lexicon, gorgeous.

One of the park rangers recommended the New Entrance tour for its scenic value and said not to be deceived by it’s short distance. At only ¾ of a mile long, it was a third of the length of the other tours but as she put it was two hours long and the other ones were “slow easy walks for old people”.

After two-plus hours of climbing steep grades, taking pictures, and contort like gumby I’m not ashamed to say that it kicked my ass, but it was definitely worth the it.

And now I can add toured the world’s longest cave system to my list. 

more to come…

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On a side note, while leaving Mammoth I ran across a whitetail deer that was being more than a little aggressive in his grass eating style:

With a full tank of rare Nashvillian gas, I hit the road again to check out a town in the middle of nowhere and with a population of only 361… Lynchburg, Tennessee.

The tourist center was packed with an eclectic crowd: Harley biker gangs, families, and international tourists from all over the world. All of them just milling around checking out the whiskey making process and waiting for their tour number to be called.

The tour-guide we end up with had worked for the distillery and now in his retirement years gave tours. His quick-wit and knowledge mixed with being a Southern gentlemen made him a great guide.

On the tour, we were shown all the different steps: how they made the charcoal, the spring where the water came from, the distilling process, the filtering process, barrel making, bottling and packing facilities.

While all of the steps were interesting, I have to say I was most impressed by the bottling line. There is a single bottle line for all the Jack Daniels bottles and they bottle and package everything one barrel at a time in a medium-sized room!

During the tour we found out that we wouldn’t be able to sample any of the whiskey. Sadly, Lynchburg is in a dry county and it was illegal to sell or serve any alcohol.

However the tour-guide told us they found a loophole a few years ago. The distillery could sell collector edition bottles because the buyers will likely never drink the alcohol. So technically the buyer is buying the bottle and not the alcohol in it. 

The tour ended in what looked like a homey restaurant bar and we were all served lemonade and hidden in the back corner was a room selling the collector editions.

They were only selling five different runs, three normal bottles of Jack Daniels with scenes from Lynchburg and two award winning years in custom bottles from 1981 and 1954.

After hearing how much they cost, I bought 4 of the 5.

They were about a 1/3 of the cost of what they are online and coming with a seal showing they were bought directly from the distillery only increased there value (I would have bought all of them but the one Lynchburg scene bottle was a little cheesy looking).

It sounded like a good investment to me .

If you’re ever in the Nashville area, the tour is definitely worth the three-plus hours round trip to the distillery.

more to come…

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After being stuck in a rainstorm for a couple days, I finally out ran the clouds when I left Arkansas and headed back into Tennessee.

While heading to Nashville, I stopped in Natchez Trace State Park for a couple hours. It was a cute little park but it is was nearly vacant… I think I saw one couple in the entire park.

Shortly after I hit the road again to Nashville.

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Nashville Gas Shortage

My first interaction with a Nashvillian was with a bored cashier sitting on a lawn chair behind the counter of a gas station. All of the gas pumps were off at the empty station and the cashier stared at me with contempt as I asked where I could find some gas.

That’s when I found out the entire area was suffering from a gas shortage. I shot some video of the gas lines and blogged about it in another post: Nashville Gas Shortage

more to come…